Border Reivers

The Reavers by George MacDonald Fraser. Harper Collins. £18.99 (£15.99 in Bookends)

George MacDonald Fraser begins this book, which he says is "nonsense, with one monstrous, contorted, cantankerous sentence" 360 words altogether, in which he contrives to quote from Shakespeare, the Bible, Lord Lytton and the BBC. He talks of "the false forecasts of Master Michael Fishe, he o' the isobars, who had predicted only light airs, gentle as zephyrs" (will our poor prognosticator ever be forgiven?), describes an equally monstrous storm, which whirls away Steeple Bumpstead and causes haystacks and livestock to crash through thatches, and wonderfully evokes the years of Good Queen Bess while at the same admonishing all the ills and contrarieties of our modern world from global warming to intellectual arrogance.

The octogenarian master is at it again.

The Reavers, intentionally mis-spelled, of course "this book is spoof upon spoof" is rich with the relaxed comic invention of a man who delights in detesting the pretensions of today and loves the endless variety of humanity and especially the ruggedness of Border folk.

Anachronisms abound as the author constantly entertains himself, playing with time and place and tweaking the critical noses of the over-serious on the way.

MacDonald Fraser revels in this wealth of creation in a way that only a writer so totally in command and confidently indulging himself can do.

And it makes for a wonderfully sprightly, energetic and entertaining romp through the history of the Border Reivers, where he is still the acknowledged expert.

The story begins on the high fell road from Scotch Corner to Carlisle.

Lady Godiva Dacre's carriage has broken down and they wait for "a road scout, wi' spanners and gadgets". Lady Godiva is a lady of such "peerless oomph" that Queen Elizabeth is jealous and finds Godiva's "flame-coloured coiffure a maddening reproach" to her own "weekly gallon of henna."

Her companion is "little Kylie... petite, blonde, pert and chocolate-box pretty, with those generous contours common among saucy milkmaids and well described by the modern expression 'stacked'". Kylie sounds very familiar.

And there are other familiar characters, too, from one well-known Archie Noble, he of the Border Ballad, to an Errol Flynn-like highwayman who, despite his swash-buckling swagger, speaks with the most forthright of Kelvinside accents, and is ready to make direct frontal attacks on Lady Godiva's virtue.

There's a plot to remove King James from the Scottish throne master-minded by some fiendish dagoes and a thwarted attack by the wild men of Liddlesdale on the dirt-poor village of Gungemyre.

All this and much more, set in and around Merrie Carlisle.

George MacDonald Fraser has enjoyed writing this book. Every sentence says he is a writer at the height of his powers. His range of "contemporary" reference, as you might expect, stretches back 80 years, but the jokes are just as good.

And behind the sheer ebullience is serious scholarship.

The exploits of the Charltons and the Nixons "two irresistible names" the Dacres and Thrashbatter Tower and all the others are as securely based on sound historical knowledge as the dullest, dreariest text.

The Reavers is available from Bookends, 56 Castle Street, Carlisle, and 66 Main Street, Keswick, and from www.bookscumbria.com at a special price of £15.99.

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